Drawn in bed early this morning — a mug and the Oatly carton from the tray beside me. The drawing is simple: just those two things, made with Neocolor II Black, Purple, and Silver Grey, and a Blackwing 3 pencil.
The last few days have felt shaky. The process of trying to buy a car has left me feeling very unsettled. G. woke me in the night as I was calling out for help in my sleep — rescuing me from a nightmare in which I was being stabbed.
I was still feeling jittery when I awoke properly and was pleased to have my usual morning routine — make tea, put it on my tea-tray, take it back to bed, reach for my sketchbook — to fall into. It was as I was putting my oat milk on the tray that I noticed the “Shake Me” lettering on the carton, and I began the drawing in my head as I climbed the stairs back to bed.
The finished drawing feels raw and unsettling — the colours echoing the words on the page:
Feeling shaken and jittery. Buying a new car has all been a bit too much. Woke up at 2:00 a.m. shouting out for help. Don’t SHAKE ME (anymore!).
It captures the moment as I was drawing and will be a reminder of my night-terror.
I think this morning, the act of drawing (even more so than usual), was an attempt at steadying myself through its familiar routine. Today, I’m not sure that was wholly successful — but it did help.
