Michael Nobbs

A 4.00 am pool of light

An open pocket sketchbook resting on a colourful crocheted blanket in front of a screen showing a moustachioed man wearing a grey cable-knit jumper and red neckerchief. The sketchbook contains a portrait of the man, drawn in black ink with touches of red, turquoise and grey against an olive-green background. Handwritten text reads “New YouTube obsession. Henry did it”, alongside the date 9-10-26 and the time 4.30 am. To the right, an orange Stanley mug and a black pen rest on a yellow Moomin tray decorated with illustrations of Moomin characters and flowers. The scene is warmly lit.
A close-up of an open pocket sketchbook resting on a crocheted blanket in shades of cream, rust and blue. A black ink portrait of a man with a curled moustache stretches across both pages, with touches of red, turquoise and grey on his clothing and a textured olive-green background. Handwritten lettering on the left reads “New YouTube obsession. Henry did it”, with “4.30 am” written vertically below. The date 9-10-26 appears on the right. Behind the sketchbook, part of a screen shows the grey cable-knit jumper of the man being drawn, with a pale blue typewriter visible in the background.

I’m reluctantly coming to the conclusion that I’m in the midst of an ME crash.

What I’m also seeing is that my 4.00 am drawing habit is actually a little oasis for my foggy brain and uncomfortable body. There is a certain amount of clarity and even some energy as I sit in bed awake in the small hours.

For weeks now I’ve been waiting for this time to dissolve into a more regular — more acceptable — sleep pattern. But today, as I sit with my tea, drawing and listening to the rain, it feels like a little pool of light to enjoy and cherish.

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